Shall we ditch New Year resolutions?
Here’s why they don’t work & what you can do instead
January 2022 is almost over and new year’s resolutions for most of us are largely discarded and shelved away. We might recycle them or create new ones in a few months, or as we say hello to 2023. And the cycle of resolutions continues…
Targets, goals, 30-day challenges, new year’s resolutions, measures, KPIs etc. have their place in life – to give us some structure towards our desired outcomes. They work well when the tasks are numerically measurable – funding target, beating your previous race time, increasing your test score, getting a new website for your business etc…
Smashing, hustling, ‘rise & grind’ to achieve your goals may not be the healthiest and most sustainable option
Here are my top 5 reasons why (based on my observations as a coach)
Goal fatigue and ever-changing goalposts leave you exhausted and unfulfilled as you never reach the holy grail of contentment
Creates an unhealthy competition with yourself and with others that you can’t win
Too much focus on the end game and not enough focus on enjoying the journey
Doesn’t tackle any underlying issues that are preventing you from achieving your aspirations
Sense of overwhelm and the pressure of doing it NOW or ASAP at the expense of your physical and emotional mindfulness
Working towards distant bigger goals and more complex ones like losing weight or career change often leads us to think we can jump between where we are now and the goal itself without acknowledging the investment needed or committing to whatever it takes to sustain results.
What’s the solution?
Stories shape us
I work with clients to help them with their aspirations, but on a path that is more sustainable. No more smashing goals and hitting targets. This is much more about getting to the core – discovering the bit that makes you stuck, feeling like you’re on a loop, untangling tricky knots you never knew you had or now feel ready to tackle.
I help people to see the stories they create about themselves. These stories become strong narratives, either strengthening resolve or acting as inhibitors in their lives. (Here’s a bit more about my philosophy and coaching style.)
I apply narrative coaching which is an approach that provides a flexible yet a clear structure, tapping deep into aspirations, intentions, and motivations to make success happen. It’s an immersive exercise into new awareness and action. It’s about activating the creative side of your brain to spark the imagination towards a desired future.
Working with the stories you have created about yourself, I help you to get to the heart of the matter i.e. what you want, what you really want.
The message
Don’t beat yourself up if 27 days into January you’re doing all the things you said you were quitting or not doing any of the things you said you’d start!
And…
Next time you’re thinking about setting new year’s resolutions, a new goal, ask yourself:
Why am I really doing this?
What happened last time I set myself this or a similar goal?
Why do I keep going back to my old habits?
What happens when I don’t meet them?
What support do I need to make them happen?